Love the Way You Lie
by CrazyJMB
Summary: Derek describes his dramatic and turbulent relationship with Casey. He shows that they are the true definition of Love-Hate. Based in part on the song, Love the Way you Lie. Dark Dasey. Rated M for safety and future chapters.


Hey everyone, it's been a long time since I've posted a story. I've had a horrible case of writers block that I'm still trying to work myself out of.

This story is by far the darkest thing I've written so far, so if you have a ridiculously good memory and actually remember any of my other stories, it's nothing like those. Also Derek and Casey are a bit OOC, but it was necessary for this story.

The song I used for this fic is Love the Way You Lie by Eminem featuring Rihanna.

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek or the song Love the Way You Lie**  


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I can't tell you what it really is  
I can only tell you what it feels like  
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe  
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight  
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight  
High off of love drunk from my hate**** It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she fuckin' hates me and I love it**

(Derek's POV)

Love-hate. That's probably the simplest, yet most effective way to describe us. I thought that things were explosive when we were fifteen. Looking back, it was nothing. Fucking nothing!

I've been dating Casey McDonald for the past two years. We've been together since our sophomore year at Queens. To say things have been smooth would be like saying that I saw my mother a lot after my parent's divorce. In case you haven't gotten the message, things are fucking dramatic 24-7. Seven days a week. 365 days a year. Get it yet?

It's amazing that the fact that we step-siblings wouldn't even crack the top 10 sickest things about our relationship to even the most close minded individuals (and it seems like Casey and I always fucking run into them).

Why do I say that? Do you really want to know? Stupid question right?

Well for one I've never been more confused about anything prior to dating Casey McDonald! I can almost guarantee that the feeling is mutual. What am I saying? Of course the feeling is mutual. She's screamed it to my face more times than I can count. I always feel like I'm walking around egg shells around her. It's pretty ironic too. I probably know more about Casey McDonald than anyone, including Casey McDonald, and I still don't know what the fuck she's going to do half the time. Not even inkling sometimes.

Misery is something that I feel way too often ever since we got together. Once again I can promise you that the feeling is mutual. Why? Because we fight. A lot! Our fights are sometimes playful like they were when we teenagers, but a lot are really mean-spirited. I say things that not even 15-year old Derek Venturi would have the balls to say. I feel terrible every time I say these things. Every damn time! But she winds me up every time that I can't help myself. I have a temper. She has a temper. I probably have spent more nights on our beat-up couch than the bed we spent so much fucking money to buy. Notice I said spent, and not sleep. I don't sleep when I'm on that couch at night. It's not because it's too uncomfortable. Trust me when I'm tired and my head is semi-clear, I can sleep on pretty much anything. However, the couch means we had a fight. A fight means that I'm too wound up to sleep. When I'm too would up to sleep my mind just does crazy shit to me.

I start thinking about everything. Literally everything. I think about my past. I think about my future. I think mostly about the present. I think about what I'm doing in my life, but mostly I think about our relationship. I ask myself why I put myself and Casey through this nightmare. I ask myself why I don't just pack up and leave right then and there. Casey won't miss me. She'll be happy to see me leave. I won't miss her one bit.

If you completely believe that last bit about us not missing each other, I got a bridge to sell you. Even though those nights on the couch drive me up the wall, and I always think about our relationship, I always come to the same conclusion. Casey and I love each other more than anything else. Period. That's why we put up with all the shit. No scratch that! We love all the dramatic shit from our relationship.

Yeah I'm sure some of you are thinking about one thing: make-up sex. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, it's fucking mind-blowing. But when I mean that we love all the dramatic shit, I mean, we love the pain we cause ourselves and each other. We, for whatever reason, seem to get off from torturing each other. Remember when I said that we're sick. Believe me now?

**Wait, where you goin'?  
I'm leavin' you, no you ain't, come back  
We're runnin' right back, here we go again  
So insane, cause when it's goin' good it's goin' great  
I'm superman with the wind in his back, she's lois lane****But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snap Whose that dude? I don't even know his name  
I laid hands on her  
I never stoop so low again  
I guess I don't know my own strength**

I've never left Casey. Not once. Sometimes I've wanted to so much, but I never did. Casey, on the other hand, has left me before. It's never been for a long time though. I think we've been apart for two weeks the most.

That time she did leave me for that period was following a really bad fight. I should have known at the time that we were due for a world war caliber fight. After all we had gone nearly a month of actually getting along. We felt like we had finally turned the corner on our relationship. Things were never better. I finally felt like prince charming and she was my princess (corny I know, but it's how I felt). Of course, fate must have returned from vacation the day of the fight. Fate must have recognized that we were too happy to be left alone.

We were on vacation and some random fuck decides to hit on Casey. When I see assholes even look at Casey, my blood starts to boil. Yes I'm the jealous type, especially when it comes to her. Why? I'll be the first to admit that she could date a guy way better than me. You know, an actual fucking Prince Charming. Most of me knows that she won't leave me for good. There is a part of me, however, that always fears that the rest of me is wrong. Dead wrong.

Ok back to the asshole hitting on Casey. He was a charmer that's for sure. If he went to my high school, I don't know if he'd be the guy I'd be fighting with for supremacy or the guy I'd be comparing notes with. Anyway, he was charming her in a way that reminded me of my pre-Casey days. And she was just fucking eating it all up.

Now before I move on, I will say that Casey is a lot of things (especially when I'm involved), but unfaithful isn't one of them. I know that 100 percent when my head is clear. However, that wasn't the case that day.

After I saw that guy wrap his arm around her and kiss her cheek, I lost it. Literally lost it. After that, I don't remember a whole lot to be honest. I remember a lot of yelling at him at first. Then she yelled at me for overreacting and that she did nothing wrong (which in retrospect was true). Then there was a lot of me yelling at her. We left the area because we were causing a scene and went to our hotel room. Of course the fight followed us. I remember there being even more yelling in the hotel room. I honestly don't remember many details, but I do vividly remember one image. I remember seeing one side of her face beet red and it wasn't because she was blushing either. Then I looked down at my hand and it was as red as her face.

I didn't see her again for two weeks. Too long weeks. Of course, I tried calling her, texting her, emailing her to apologize. I tried everything and anything. She responded once in that two week period. She told me to go screw myself.

Two weeks after that incident, I came home one afternoon to find her sitting on her couch waiting for me. We talked, I apologized…a lot…she yelled at me, we had some make-up sex, and then things went back to normal. Yes things went back to normal just like that. I know that you think that doesn't sound like Casey McDonald, but thing you need to know is that the Casey McDonald that I see is very different from the one everyone else sees. She's a totally different person around me.

I told you that we're fucking sick and you know what: we love it.

**Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
That's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
That's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie

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**Ok that was part 1 of what will probably be a three-shot. The reason being that I used the first verse of the the song (plus the chorus at the end) and there are two more verses to go..

Please let me know what you think, since I really want to know if I'm successfully getting out of my current funk.

Also just as a final note (this is completely unrelated to the story): I highly recommend that you all check out Eminem's new CD, Recovery, which contains Love the Way you Lie. It's honestly one of the best albums I have heard in a long time. Even if you don't like Eminem or hip-hop, it definately has a different vibe than his previous work which you may find interesting. Just a suggestion, I won't hunt you down if you don't. :)


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